Winter Patriot Community Blog

WPIA (Winter Patriot Intelligence Agency)

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Forward on a 'need to know' basis only

Dear Sally,

RE: The King of the World election and a proposal for the enactment of The Poysen Pill Boysen Bill

As you know, it's become increasing obvious that James is positioning himself to make a run for King of the World. He refers to this title with the waggish (and misleading I might add) euphemism 'El Presidente'. An El Presidente, as you may well imagine, is unlikely to accrue for himself the far reaching powers of a King of the World. This is not the first time this has come up! He has hinted that he covets this position on comment threads in the past. I'm not saying he wouldn't make a good King, and if he has a chance at election you and I would certainly want to be on the winning side of that one! However, we need to proceed carefully! He has made a couple of worrying comments regarding his intent to carry through on campaign promises so I thought it best I move all the relevant conversations on the 'ice cream for votes' deal I have been attempting to negotiate with him (see below) to this newly created forum. That way we can keep track of the half-truths, innuendos and well, just out and out political horses**t all in one place. This is how these guys operate, you know. They dump and spread these kinds of promises on numerous threads, spinning and suggesting, manipulating our thoughts and making it nearly impossible for we poor voters to nail down the deal or know who said what to whom, and when. One needs to be some kind of investigative reporter to follow the trail. I mean he didn't really offer you the deal did he? He just pointed you over to some unrelated info where the ice cream deal was being discussed. Oh, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear he has been making 'off-thread' deals with WP, NJT or others.

That brings me to what I have tentatively dubbed the Boysen Bill named for the '2 scoops of Boysenberry icecream for 1 vote' deal that James is peddling.

A Bit of History:
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boysenberry
A boysenberry is a cross between a raspberry, a blackberry, and/or a loganberry.[2] It is a large (8.0g) compound fruit, with large seeds and a deep maroon color.[3]
In the late 1920s, George M. Darrow of the USDA began tracking down reports of a large, reddish-purple berry that had been grown on the northern California farm of a man named Rudolph Boysen.[4] Darrow enlisted the help of Walter Knott, a Southern California farmer who was known as a berry expert. Knott hadn't heard of the new berry, but he agreed to help Darrow in his search for the berry.

Darrow and Knott learned that Boysen had abandoned his growing experiments several years earlier and sold his farm. Undaunted by this news, Darrow and Knott headed out to Boysen's old farm, on which they found several frail vines surviving in a field choked with weeds. They transplanted the vines to Knott's farm in Buena Park, California, where he nurtured them back to fruit-bearing health. Walter Knott was the first to commercially cultivate the berry in southern California.[4] He began selling the berries at his farm stand in 1932 and soon noticed that people kept returning to buy the large, tasty berries. When asked what they were called, Knott said, "Boysenberries," after their originator.[5] His family's small restaurant and pie business eventually grew into Knott's Berry Farm. As the berry's popularity grew, Mrs. Knott began making preserves, which ultimately made Knott's Berry Farm famous.

The relevant bit to note here Sally is the Knott('s) Berry Farm...clever - NOT BERRY!. Now some may accuse me of being a 'conspiracy theorist' for noting this obscure detail relating to the history of said berry but are we really going to get Boysenberry? Will there be any real berries in our ice cream or will it be synthetic flavoring? That's why I am proposing we draft the Boysen Bill in advance of James' election campaign and get it enacted ASAP! We will want to insure we carefully lay out exactly what is expected in return for our votes so there will be no surprises after the election (ie. real berries, real cream, two scoops, boysenberry and not something 'peachy', time frame for receipt of payment etc.). Procedures for immediate impeachment will need to be included in the event any of the provisos of the Boysen Bill are breached.

Yours in truth and accountability
McJ

McJ to James: ...You make some excellent suggestions in your comments. If only you ruled the world. James to McJ: El Presidente You make some excellent suggestions in your comments. If only you ruled the world. Hahaha! That would not be such a good idea, believe me. Though, there'd be free boysenberry ice-cream for everyone. Hmmm, maybe the interminable speeches would be worth it! McJ to James: You've got my vote. I'm all for free ice-cream. James to McJ: Well, that was easy. I think i can see the way to go stretched out before me. Yes! McJ to James: You are going to be using real cream - right? James to McJ: Real cream? Um . . . yeah, sure. ah . . whatever you want. Kosher, even. Yes. Just vote for me and I'll fix everything up just peachy after I'm elected. Trust me! McJ to James: ...I trust you James , but no petroleum bi-products or other junk in that ice cream ya hear! or I'll have to have you impeached if 'everything' is not 'peachy' enough! James to McJ: ...if I'm gunna get impeached it had better be over a peach. McJ to James: ...speaking of el presidentes and rightful rulers ...here's a wee word from the bard himself about some poor Scots who fought for an earlier King James over in Ireland. You won't be making the same mistakes as Seamus a' chaca I trust - cuttin and runnin? It Was A' For Our Rightfu' King by Robert Burns It was a' for our rightfu' King We left fair Scotland's strand; It was a' for our rightfu' King We e'er saw Irish land, my dear, We e'er saw Irish land. Now a' is done that men can do, And a' is done in vain; My Love and Native Land fareweel, For I maun cross the main, my dear, For I maun cross the main. James to McJ: I see you're angling for a double scoop, McJ. I'm sorry but there will be no extra privileges in the workers paradise where everyone works equally for my paradise! McJ to James: Double scoops - the going price for my vote! James to McJ: ...Um . . . we'll talk more about the scoops after the election, ok? But don't you worry, I'll see you right. Sally to McJ: ...Peace, Joy and Boysenberry Icecream McJ to Sally: ..."Joy and Boysenberry Icecream" James has been giving me the runaround on that whole ice cream thing so be careful about making deals with him! I offered him my vote for 'king of the world' for just two scoops but he came back with some BS about trusting him to make it right once he's the ruler. I'm beginning to think it's just your typical political pre election promise although I'm sure he'll tell you that his promises are anything but typical. Sally to McJ: The Deal Re - Boysenberry Ice Cream Thanks for starting negotiations over the icecream McJ. I may want some of this action. I'll vote for James as "King of the world" as well but only with a signed voucher for quite a lot Bosenberry Icecream. Purple Berry cream is my fav. I think he's supposed to carry out our wishes as an elected King. Not that Ive ever heard of that scenario. Kings usually committ mass murder to get their job or are the children of mass murderers. Elections and Boysenberry icecream are very new concepts in world domination.